


Jam and Jelly

by olivemasala



Category: 19天 - Old先 | 19 Days - Old Xian
Genre: Bad Jokes, Crack, M/M, Sexual Humor, embarrassed Jian Yi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:54:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28282014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/olivemasala/pseuds/olivemasala
Summary: Zhan Zhengxi gets a funny text. Jian Yi is dying to know the joke.
Relationships: Jian Yi/Zhan Zhengxi (19 Days)
Kudos: 42





	Jam and Jelly

**Author's Note:**

> Well this is my first ever fic on AO3! Let me know what you think! (This is based off a real interaction I had with a coworker once and let me tell ya... The delivery is really everything.)

When Zhan Zhengxi checks his phone during break like every other day, Jian Yi thinks nothing of it. But when Zhan Zhengxi checks his phone during break, snorts, and then slaps his hand to his mouth to stifle a full-bodied laugh, Jian Yi is curious. As Zhengxi’s shoulders shake with laughter Jian Yi leans over.

“What’s so funny Zhan XiXi?” He asks while craning his head to catch a glimpse of his phone.

Zhengxi quickly turns the screen off and shakes his head.

“It’s nothing.” He says too quickly, still laughing a little. “He Tian sent me a stupid joke.”

“If it’s nothing then let me see it.” Jian Yi says petulantly.

“I’ll tell you it later,” Zhan Zhengxi is _still_ chuckling, eyes shining with mirth as he glances at Jian Yi.

Before Jian Yi can protest and demand the joke be told to him right at that moment, the break ends, and class resumes. The teacher drones on as Jian Yi imagines what was so funny that caused his normally composed Zhengxi to _snort_ in public– and at school no less. A not small part of him is upset to be left out of this supposedly hilarious joke. He vows to ask He Tian what the joke is if Zhan Zhengxi doesn’t tell him. Then just to be petty, he takes his shoe off and slides his foot under Zhan Zhengxi’s seat until it touches his ankle, then runs his socked toes up Zhengxi’s calf. Zhengxi jerks his leg and kicks at Jian Yi’s foot until it leaves his space. Jian Yi does it again after about 3 minutes and Zhengxi turns to fix him with a glare that promises only bad things. Looking properly scolded, Jian Yi slips his shoe back on, slinks low in his seat and pouts for the rest of class. He just can’t get the idea of this joke out of his mind. He’s beginning to wonder if he has ever made Zhan Zhengxi laugh the way he did when he read that joke, when the bell rings and the teacher dismisses them for the day.

They gather their things and Jian Yi is immediately back on Zhengxi’s case about the joke. For his part, Zhengxi just rolls his eyes and continues to pack his backpack up. Once he’s slung it over his shoulder, he cuts off Jian Yi’s babble with, “I’ll tell you when we’re outside. Less people will overhear.”

This really does nothing to calm Jian Yi’s curiosity, and he’s on the verge of getting a real smack from Zhan Zhengxi because of his persistence at this point, but he can’t really help himself.

Finally, they’ve put on their outside shoes and are approaching the courtyard when Jian Yi can’t take it anymore.

“Zhan XiXi, just tell meeeee.” He whines. “This isn’t fair because if He Tian told you the joke then Redhead already knows and then I’m the only one left outtttt.”

Zhengxi counts to ten to calm down before reacting, mostly because he can see his homeroom teacher keeping an eye on them and she won’t give him a pass for smacking Jian Yi’s head even if it is while they’re leaving the school. He grabs Jian Yi’s arm, perhaps tighter than strictly necessary and wheels him off to the side, away from the flow of traffic.

“Okay, I’m only gonna say it once so listen carefully.” He says, and he needn’t even have bothered because Jian Yi is already rapt with attention for this highly coveted joke.

“This better be funny.” Jian Yi says, like a whiner, but he nods vigorously while he’s talking, taking this whole thing way too seriously. It’s a joke for god’s sake.

Zhengxi has to work hard to fight the grin off his face before he tells him. For this joke, delivery is everything.

“Jian Yi, what’s the difference between jam and jelly?”

He pauses for a response, and he can tell Jian Yi is utterly perplexed by the question. He’s got confusion written all over his face, especially in the crease on his forehead that his eyebrows have made from converging together.

“I don’t know, what?”

Zhengxi leans forward, the picture of utter intensity, and pierces Jian Yi with his stare. He maintains direct eye contact with Jian Yi’s pale, concentrated face as he says, “ _I can’t jelly my dick up your ass._ ”

Dead. Silence.

Then Jian Yi’s eyes widen in shock. All at once his face turns comically red and Zhan Zhengxi can see his brain shutting down.

“You– I… whowhu– that’s!” Jian Yi’s face is so red, and his eyes so wide, he looks like a tomato with googly eyes stuck on.

Zhan Zhengxi can’t take it anymore. He tries to contain it, but the laughter bubbles out of him, loud and uncontrollable. Finally, he gives in and throws his head back and really lets it out.

Jian Yi is still floundering next to him, which just adds to the hilarity. He’s gonna have to thank He Tian for telling him that one later. It’s just too good.

Meanwhile, Jian Yi is pressing his hand to his heart to stop it from beating out of his chest. He can’t get over the intensity of Zhengxi’s gaze when he delivered the punchline. “ _I can’t jelly my dick up your ass._ ” The words keep ringing in his head. Images of Zhengxi’s dick in his ass and jars of jelly keep swirling around in his mind. Well, at least he has something to think of later tonight in bed.


End file.
